But then, and honestly I don't even know what the pancreas is, but that's what it was, pancreatic cancer . And it happened faster then they had even thought, and when Cait's dad died, her mom died too. Well she didn't really die of course but she might as well have because she stopped living.And Cait, she was so broken. And for days she just sat there in her bed at home and she didn't even speak, and I sat there with her and held her hand and cried with her, and I couldn't really do anything else.And her mom just walked around the house, like a ghost just floating from room to room. And they didn't talk to each other and they didn't talk to me, and when Cait finally did speak to me all she said was “I don't think I can make it through this.”But she did. Slowly. And she came back to school. And she came with me to Lucy now and then, just to be there and maybe feel better. And her mom made it too, in a way.And I was there when they had that fight and Cait's mom told her, when she said. "She nodded in agreement, but remained silent. I reached for her hand."Something else is bothering you, isn't it? Come on, you can tell yourMa anything."She nodded. "I know that, Ma. I'm just not sure how to explain it. WhenI got to the store, and I saw Pete....I had this strange fluttery feelinginside. He's the same Pete I've known for years. Could that mean....I havefeelings for him? The way a girl has feelings for a boy?"I nodded. "I think that's exactly what it means, daughter. And don't youthink that's a good thing? Whatever power changed you seemed to leaveyour mind untouched at first. But I think that's starting to change now,too. And doesn't that make sense? If you are going to be a girl, isn'tit better to be one, inside and outside? And if you are going to havefeelings for a boy, there couldn't be a nicer one than Pete."She nodded, and smiled. I sensed she had fought back a stray tear."You're right, ma. Of course, you're right."We prepared supper together, and it felt like a.
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